“I’m eating this … for my soul”. Almost always only half-serious, half-joking nudge-nudge, wink-wink.
But souls … souls don’t eat earthly food. Souls eat love. That is what feeds and nurtures them. And yet, the peculiar phrase is very common and relatable almost to all. It would be difficult to find someone who does not make use of ‘soul food’ in some form or other, let alone – someone who actively rejects it outright.
“Soul food” is a way of gaining permission for that which has been categorised as ‘forbidden’.
If this terrible, unhealthy food, that harms me in a direct or indirect way, will be allocated a name and address to which it is targeted and which it nurtures, it will be allowed. Perhaps even … welcome? And there you have it – permission.
Seemingly, all is well. We needed permission to do what we craved to do, and the permission was given. However, in effect, this tainted permission hides within the kernel of the prohibition. Instead of dealing with the price of this prohibition, and truly disentangling ourselves from its grasp, we’re hiding it.
From whom? From ourselves!
If we face the price of the prohibition; if we confront the consequences of the food that we’re eating; if we challenge the permission that we give ourselves, there is a distinct worry that a change is afoot, and change is an unwelcome idea for our systems, which love the status-que.
Would you like to try to work with the idea of true permission, and see where it leads?
The first step is to tell yourself the truth, and to make an informed choice every step of the way. Here, for example: “I ate two slices of cake because I felt lonely”.
Instead of telling myself that I fed my soul or spirit (which is still longing for love, friendship, touch, etc), I’ll just tell myself the truth: I feel lonely. I ate two slices of cake because it calmed me, and for five minutes, I felt better. And … well, that’s it.
This path leads to change, but with no effort. When the truth is in plain sight, accepted and even loved as it is, there is very little incentive to continue to lie. Our challenges become evident and clear, and there is a larger chance that, instead of silencing them with food, we will actually face them.
At first, nothing happens (and you may even feel a tad foolish). However, slowly but surely, as the truths multiply, are repeated, and rewarded only with compassion and acceptance, the desire to engage with things grows, as does our ability to do so.
Shall we try?
You might like to read :
It seems advisable to talk about the ‘post-holiday’ diet before the holidays, for that is when a decision is made to embark on it. Or perhaps, more accurately, to embark on it again, for the same decision was made in previous holidays, and in those that preceded them, etc. The ‘post-holiday’ diet is the most […]
In the world of “eating habits” (a common euphemism for the world of diets) there are well known and common pearls of wisdom which are inefficient. Facially, they seem reasonable and helpful, stemming from common sense and accrued wisdom. But in fact, they are not only unhelpful, but plainly harmful. These include, for example “eat […]
Those who talk about the ‘right diet’ (‘diet’ here is used in the sense of ‘what we eat’, rather than ‘how to lose weight’) tend to assume that there are good and valid rules for the general population. Even where lip service is paid, by conceding that an individual’s needs must be accounted for, at […]
Why is it so important to decipher our emotional eating? First and foremost, to understand what we’re doing, we need to stop referring to emotional eating in euphemisms such as ‘comfort’ food or a ‘treat’, when their effect on us is actually neither. Poor food is not a treat, but rather burdens our body […]
“I’m eating this … for my soul”. Almost always only half-serious, half-joking nudge-nudge, wink-wink. But souls … souls don’t eat earthly food. Souls eat love. That is what feeds and nurtures them. And yet, the peculiar phrase is very common and relatable almost to all. It would be difficult to find someone who does not make […]
Emotional eating is one of the most common reasons for excessive consumption of inadequate food. For some, it leads to weight gain; others suffer from health problems; and there are those that confront frustration and the inability to lead a productive work or creative life. For many, emotional eating creates a vicious circle that consists […]
Does this sound familiar: dinner just ended, everyone finished their meal full and happy, and there’s no chance that anyone is hungry. And yet, a young one asks for food, in a small voice, which signals hunger: ‘Mum/dad… I’m hungry’. Hunger triggers us, mums and dads alike (let alone grandparents). It is seen as an […]
Almost all of us eat, at times, out of the need for comfort. And those of us who raise children probably also feed to comfort them. Bad day? Are you upset? Sad? You’re troubled but don’t know exactly why? Food! Nipple, bottle, cookie, chocolate, pizza night, or maybe let’s go out and eat! And food, […]
It’s new year’s eve and you know the feeling. It’s a day like any other, really, but, in a manner that is completely unrelated to your physical reality, you make a very physical decision like … I’ll stop eating sugar. I’ll quit on meat. No more coffee. Or simply … I’ll lose weight, I’ll start […]
A gross estimate would suggest that about 90 per cent of the people I work with are drawn to emotional eating as a response to a victim mentality. Victimization presents a vast spectrum. At the one extreme, we find true victimization, in which an individual is treated in a manner that is cruel or unjust, […]
Many of our dietary challenges stem from our difficulties, or even inabilities, to identify real hunger in time and to address it in a fitting manner. Hunger is a very basic need, not different from the need to empty our bowels, to sleep or to have sex. Our engagement with hunger as a need can […]
Quite a few people who work with me ask for my help to rid themselves of drinking coffee in general, or to reduce quantities. My first response to such a request is that the first thing that a person should rid herself of is the expectation that habit that is kicked out the door will […]